Tuesday, December 21, 2010

dear santa,

Here's a tip:

When a child sits on your lap and tells you what he wants for Christmas, it is not wise to ask detailed questions as follow-up. For instance, if a four-year old boy tells you he wants a race track for Christmas, you should not, under any circumstance, ask him what kind of race track he wants, nor suggest a certain name brand race track.

The following example should never occur:

Santa: What do you want for Christmas?
Punkin: A race track.
Santa: What kind of race track would you like?
Punkin: Uh...
Santa: Would you like a Hot Wheels Race Track?

At this point, you are likely to see a certain mom trying to tell you to shut your big mouth and say something helpful, rather than potentially destructive. Unless, of course, you plan to be sliding down the chimney with said Hot Wheels Race Track in your sack.

For future reference, here are some more appropriate follow-up questions/comments after a child tells you what he or she wants for Christmas. Feel free to steal them:

Have you been a good boy?

Have you been listening to your mommy and daddy?

Make sure you do a good job of trying new foods at dinnertime. 

Got it?

If Punkin wakes up on Christmas morning, rushes down to the tree, rips off the wrapping paper on his non Hot Wheels Race Track and I see even a glimmer of disappointment, I will hunt you down...



  1. you took santa's advice, and did one better! Right?

    Darn Santa....

  2. oh no! bad santa! that's kind of what happens when my kids see even a few minutes of commercials. it's awful.

  3. swonderful - I used to think Punkin was immune to commercials, until just last week... he saw 3 seconds of a "Pillow Pet" commercial for the first time... oh my goodness, that ad must have subliminal messaging in it!

    I just couldn't believe Santa! But I'm keeping my fingers crossed that when he sees the race track we did get him, he'll be so enamored, he'll forget to think about what brand it is!!

  4. Methinks Santa is getting kickbacks for product placement.

  5. HILARIOUS! This is obviously a child-less Santa that you visited, and he's obviously playing a very mean joke on you.

    Bad Santa!

  6. Katy - Of course, that must be it! I should've thought of that!

  7. Ems - Good point! And glad to see you still read my blog sometimes! ;)

  8. I feel your pain! I had to go out this weekend in search of a pink scooter because the Santa that came to school PROMISED a pink scooter. WTH?? What kind of Santa PROMISES anything??

  9. um, Santa? NOOOOO!!! What the heck? That should be rule #1 that they learn in Santa school...do NOT promise kids things or suggest stuff! I mean seriously!


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